Seven years ago, I was heavily pregnant, and I had no idea what kind of mother I was going to be.
"She's such a wonderful child. She's a credit to you both."
(You know you're doing a good enough job when your mother thinks that too!)
Isn't it nice when you hear compliments like that?! Honestly, we appreciate all the kind words.
Like all parents, we have principles, and we held on to them tight when bringing our little girl up.
#1 Respect.
#2 Gratitude.
#3 Happiness.
I want to focus on the last one here.
As cliche as it sounds, we all want to be happy.
Happiness is the product of making bold choices that align with our goals and purposes.
We make choices every single day from the minute we wake up to the minute we kiss-goodnight, and so often we are led by our habits subconsciously.
"Social media makes me anxious, but I need to check it every 2 minutes, that's what I do."
"Sugar makes me feel tired, but I can't have ____ without sugar."
"My job is stressful, but there's nothing I can do about it."
......
Is everything we say to ourselves true? Of course not, we all know that!
It's just uncomfortable to look for other options. Those options are unfamiliar to us, and working them out means we will have to make a change. So we choose to stay where we are because we are the masters of living in discomfort.
Notice the word "choose"? Right there, that's a choice.
Going back to our daughter. I always say to her, "Be honest with me, what do you really want?" (We have a very close relationship, she trusts me.) Once we work out what she wants, we talk about the options. Over the years, she's learned that we're only here to guide and help her. Eventually, she makes her own decisions.
She chooses healthy food over junk food because she cares about her health. (Believe it or not.)
She chooses to read in her spare time because she enjoys learning.
She chooses to be polite and respectful towards others because she follows her heart.
I'm not saying we have no influence over her at all. Obviously she has mimicked us over the years.
As a mother, I want her to feel empowered, so she can grow up knowing that she's capable of designing a life she's happy to live.
Know your goal, make a choice, and walk to it - one steady step at a time.
It is that simple, but it takes courage.
(This is also a daily reminder to myself.)
Love, Ivy
xx
Comments